little spade on the prairie.

 You ever find yourself sitting on the couch all alone, late at night, watching Frontier House while saying to yourself, "Yes, this! This, is the answer"? That's a stupid question, of course you do. It's o.k, don't feel dumb, I totally do it too. Really, how you could not want to? It is seriously difficult to not fantasize about the idea of living in that beautiful microcosm of work, life and community. They blend so seamlessly into one tight little package. So simple, and perfect. I suppose that is why it makes for good television. It's right there in front of you, yet totally unattainable.

I  imagine it should not bother me too much that living in the past is not an option. I really do appreciate the luxuries of refrigeration and running water. Not to mention dysentery! God, I hate dysentery! The more I think about it, the more I think the past is a really dangerous place to live. Damn, It seemed so nice.

My mind has been living in the past a lot lately; specifically in regards to community. I have spent so much time mourning the ones I used to know that I have failed to make room for anything else to move in. I've gone from active musician, fun time connoisseur,  and general supporter of random goodness, to  a sleep deprived busy dad,  and generally grouchy old guy who randomly goes to shows and leaves before your band plays. Needless to say, this has been a really tough pill to swallow. So, I ask you. Is there life after Rock and Roll?

Well, not really after Rock and Roll. There really is no such thing. But there has to be some sort of happy medium. The perfect storm is what I am after. Equal parts Charles Ingalls and Lemmy Kilmister. Well, minus the church on Sundays, and the gnarly cocoa puff facial growths, but everything else. I can see it now, "Overkill Acres" or perhaps "Fast and Loose Farm"! Just tell me you wouldn't  want to come and hang out with me there!

And I really hope you will. Because, this is an invitation.

I know I am not the only one out there feeling as though I have been ostracized from what I love, while at the same time thinking perhaps my isolation was a voluntary act of the subconscious. For the sake of progress, of course. Maybe I am reading to far into it. All I know is that living as though I am still a pillar of youth and rebellion is not suiting me so well. I'm finally going to have to pass that torch.

This is certainly not to say that I am throwing in the towel. Not at all. I like to think of it as the next logical step for people like us. Just not exactly sure what that means yet. All I know is that right now, a little sunshine, my boys and the thought of our little plot getting closer every day makes me happy, and right now that's all I need. So, I may not know where we are going, but when we get there, I want you to know you are welcome any time.

                                       - J